Miles Away
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: "Sometimes she just couldn't understand him. She was laying completely bare before him and he was acting like he was still excited about seducing her for the first time. Like she excited him as much as she had the first time."
1. Cars Go by Under the Sun Like an Enemy

**A/N**: So I started this and hated how it came out but I think I made it at least a little better and wanted to get it out (agai, before the next episode, you'll see if you rad it.) See give me feedback, but I'm still delicate. It might seem a little random but if you continue it, it will be better, I promise.

**Summary**: "Hello, lover. The only thing that is keeping me from coming after you right now is the fact that I know you listen to these messages with constant vigilance. That you still love listening to my voice. But it's only a matter of time. You know that."

**Disclaimer**: All characters do not belong to me. Again, inspired by DH. Vaguely.

_

* * *

_

_She curled in on herself on the bathroom floor of the apartment she had been without for what seemed like eternities. And even though she was late and was wiping vomit off of her face, she wasn't going to panic. She refused._

_Because she could feel him stirring in his bed._

_Their bed._

_As of tonight. Or last night, according to her phone which now read 3:18 AM._

_Even from his slight "Blair," she couldn't help but smile, through her slowly cresting fear. They were together again. She felt the relief and safety that was only attributed to being in his arms again. She drew her knees to her chest and held herself, feeling a mixture of emotions she was sure were hormones._

_"Blair."_

_She could hear him shifting in the other room and she didn't want him to come into the naked light to see her in distress. He couldn't know. Everything was too new again. __She had to wonder why she thought being apart from him would ever be better._

_She knew the real reason. Because they just had to be apart for awhile. She had loved him too much. But it was okay now. She could handle it now. She could handle herself. Handle him. And they would be perfect._

_Even if the future she had envisioned for them was slowly seeping away. It frightened her terribly because they couldn't be torn apart again. She had promised herself to him once and for all. This couldn't be imploding on itself already._

_Blair stood to her feet, shutting off the bathroom light and crept back into their room to crawl back into the bed that housed the man that was finally hers again. For good._

_"Where'd you go?"_

_She could tell from his hazy voice that he was as delirious from the post coitus as she was. Before she woke up, frightening herself._

_"Nowhere," Blair said simply, hoping it would fool him. His arm wrapped perfectly around her, drawing her down onto their bed like she was meant to be there all along. She curled at his side, feeling the comforting rhythm of his easy breaths._

_"Hey."_

_She felt him tilt her chin to his gaze that was only vaguely decipherable in the darkness._

_"You'd tell me if something was wrong."_

_She knew he sometimes worried when she went into the bathroom for extensive periods of time. But the water wasn't running and she hoped he was out of it enough not to hear it._

_"Even this soon."_

_"Always," she promised, burying her face in his skin at his ribs._

_"Blair," he said softly, making her look at him again. "Are you happy?"_

_"Deliriously," she said truthfully._

_Because there was nothing more truthful than that. Which was why she hated herself when she knew he would be waking up alone the next morning._

_And for the indefinite future._

Blair's knuckles clenched the steering wheel of the car she just learned to drive as she tentatively eased her foot against the acceleration, breaking from her reverie. Her eyes flicked to the rearview mirror, taking in all her worldly possessions that consisted of half of her designer wardrobe that she hadn't had the chance to pawn like rest including a silvery slip and one Erikson Beamon necklace.

After getting off the train into Los Angeles, Blair had realized it would have been more convenient to have learned to drive as it was customary when she was 16. But she lived in New York. And there always seemed to be a limo at her service, strangely.

She couldn't afford to make waves now. She couldn't get a driver's license or use any of her accounts. She paid for her train ticket with cash to cross the country where she was sure no one would find her.

And by no one, she meant Him.

She had to hock her expensive possessions just to get to California. She knew how he thought. Because he thought like her. No matter what he did, there was no way he could follow her when she was being that careful. That was one thing she had learned in the past four years.

Maybe she should have been looking at the road.

The airbag deployed as Blair lost control of the wheel when she collided with an incoming car. Blair sat as smoke curled from her hood, her hands shaking. She didn't register a door opening and the survey of her car.

The door was wrenched open when she realized she was crying.

"Are you okay?"

Blair looked up into kind blue eyes that strangely made her feel suddenly safe. She felt his hands reach out and pull her gingerly from the car.

"Are you alright?"

"Sorry," Blair said, surveying the damage her car made on his. They were pulled over on the side of the rode. She was relieved to see that there was more damage done to her car than his. Only one of his headlights had been hit.

"It's just a scratch," he grinned good naturedly. Blair couldn't remember the last time she had seen a smile like that. "What about you?"

"I'm..." Blair looked over her shoulder to see the scrap of metal she tried to pay for with couture. She looked back to him. "Please don't sue me."

"What?" he asked, laughing with surprise.

"I've recently gotten into some... trouble," Blair said uncomfortably. "I can't give you my information."

"What are you, a fugitive?" he asked doubtfully.

"No," she laughed nervously. "Nothing like that. I could get you cash if you wanted--"

"I don't want your money," he said with confusion.

"I don't have insurance," Blair said. "Please, just don't call the police."

"Are you sure you didn't just escape from prison?" he teased.

"You would have heard if I was arrested," Blair said quietly, looking around.

"Are you..." his eyes followed her curiously. "Are you sure you're alright? Is someone following you or something?"

He watched her eyes flash.

"No," she denied quickly.

"Don't worry," he said, watching her with fascination. "I'm not going to call the police."

"You're not," Blair stated doubtfully.

"You're obviously in some sort of trouble."

"It's not with the law," she assured him dryly.

"I'm sure of that," he said with his disarming smile.

"You are."

"There is no way someone someone as beautiful as you held up a liquor store."

"I could be a prostitute," Blair deadpanned.

"I highly doubt that."

"Why?" Blair asked. "An area you're familiar with?"

He laughed again. She had never heard anyone laugh so freely in she didn't remember how long.

She liked it.

"Listen," Blair said. "If there's a pawn shop or something around here I can get you some money."

"You don't have to pay me off," he said with surprise. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I don't have insurance and am acting strangely suspicious."

"You're obviously running from something."

"The law," Blair said.

"Or maybe I am just incredibly astute when it comes to a damsel in distress."

"What if I'm not in distress?" Blair asked. "What if I'm the distresser?"

"Then maybe it's just your esteemed beauty that's throwing me off my guard," he assumed.

"You're going to have to stop flattering me," Blair said. "I might start trusting you."

"What's so untrustworthy about me?" he asked.

"Nothing," Blair said. "That's just it. You're too perfect."

"You have some serious trust issues," he said.

"And you seem oddly idealistic," Blair said. "Maybe now you'll let me go."

"Not quite," he said, a strange and familiar quirk to his smile. Her blood ran cold.

"What is it?" Blair asked. "I'll give you anything."

She knew how dangerous that sentence was. And she knew exactly the sort of person that would smirk at her lecherously and take advantage of that.

"How about lunch?" he offered. "You do owe for scratching my headlight."

Blair laughed lightly.

"Is that it?"

"'Is that it?'" he repeated. "I was so sure you were going to turn me down."

"You could turn me in," Blair said.

"I couldn't do that," he replied.

"Why?"

"You're giving me an opening for more flattery."

"Right," she smiled. "Lunch it is, then."

"One more thing," he stopped her.

"Yes?"

"What's your name?"

"Blair," she replied, anxious of telling someone her real name.

"Blair," he repeated slowly. "It's very beautiful. I'm Cameron."

She shook the hand he offered her, scolding herself for crashing into some guy whose name happened to begin with a C.

Figures.

"Where do you want to go?" Cameron asked.

"I just got into town," Blair said. "I don't know where anything is."

"Then I suppose we'll have to ride together," he said.

"All my things are in my car," Blair said, ignoring is innocent come on. She wasn't used to anything that didn't involve reminders of the backseats of limos.

"Don't worry about it," Cameron said, opening her door to her dwindling possessions. He starting hauling things into his own car when something slipped to the ground.

"Whoa--"

"Don't worry about it," Blair said, picking it up to pocket it.

"Is that a diamond necklace?"

"It was a gift," Blair said uncomfortably. "I told you that you would have heard if I was arrested."

"What's your last name?" he asked. She observed him with distrust.

"I won't tell anyone," he promised. "I swear."

"There's only one person that I would have a problem with you telling."

"So you are running from someone," Cameron said. "I'm assuming an ex-boyfriend."

"Not exactly," Blair said. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure," Cameron shrugged.

"Do not ever about that," she replied, sliding into the passenger seat. Cameron just started the engine, nodding. "You're really alright with this."

"I wouldn't do anything to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You are so strange," Blair said.

"It's strange that I don't want to make you uncomfortable?" he asked, driving away and leaving her smashed one behind.

"It's strange that it doesn't please you to make me uncomfortable."

"I wouldn't do that," Cameron said genuinely.

"Strange," Blair said to herself.

He promised that he wouldn't ask. "Is this alright?"

Blair looked at the diner with a strange look.

"Is something wrong?"

"I haven't been to a diner since I was 17," she said.

"Really?" he asked. "Where did you live?"

Blair shot him a look.

"If someone was following you, wouldn't they know already where you were from?"

"You are remarkably supportive despite the fact that I know you think I'm insane."

"You're not," Cameron said. "I just know you're really scared."

"I am," Blair said. "But not of what you think."

"Saying things like that doesn't make me any less curious," Cameron said.

"Sorry," Blair said. "But I can't expect you to understand."

"I don't expect to understand," Cameron said. Blair opened the door and they walked into the establishment together. He watched her with fascination as she ate.

"What?" Blair asked.

"I saw the sort of things you own," Cameron said. "You could pay me off but you won't."

"I can't access my accounts without--"

Blair cut herself off and continued with her food.

"Whoever is after you is watching you," he said.

"He sees everything," Blair murmured.

"He."

Blair's eyes snapped to his. "Do you have any quarters?"

"Only one date and you're already asking me for money," Cameron sighed before searching his pockets. "You really do have me under your spell."

"I just need to check my messages."

"You check your messages even though you ran away," Cameron said, but handing quarters over to her.

"Just in case," Blair said and went to the back of the restaurant. She just couldn't bear to tell Camerona about... him. And how it was the only way she could hear his voice anymore.

She dispensed the quarters and punched in the number.

_You have two new messages._

"_Blai_--" Blair immediately erased Serena's voice. Of course it wouldn't be her mother. Like mattered. She waited with bated breath for the next message. The phone beeped. There was silence on the other end and she knew who it was.

"_Hello, lover," _he finally sighed._ "The only thing that is keeping me from coming after you right now is the fact that I know you listen to these messages with constant vigilance. That you still love listening to my voice. But it's only a matter of time. You know that. So just keep listening. I'll keep leaving messages that I know you listen to. Next time I'll get your number. And then I'll get your coordinates. Then your house. I will find you, Waldorf. Don't think I'm ever going to give up on us_. _You know that."_

Blair breathed heavily, waiting for him to disconnect. But she heard another one of his husky breaths and waited for his next taunt.

"_I still do. I love you. Always_."

She attempted not to cry after he hung up.

When she sat in front of Cameron, she made sure none of her tears were showing.

"So let's cut to the chase," Blair announced.

"Is everything alright?" Cameron asked, knowing that wasn't just some message.

"I'm pretty much homeless right now," Blair said. "I don't even have a car to sleep in. Not entirely my fault."

"You crashed into me," Cameron reminded her.

"Yeah, but that was because I had never driven before," Blair shrugged. It struck her as strange that he was smiling at her.

"Are you asking if you can move in with me?" Cameron asked.

"I was actually asking if I could have like 200 dollars," Blair deadpanned. "You already gave me four quarters."

"Don't worry about it," Cameron shrugged. "I live in Orange. I have plenty of room."

She stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"You're just going to let some strange woman who is possibly wanted by the cops into your mansion in the OC?"

"Like I said," Cameron said. "I know how well off you are. You wouldn't go so low as to steal from me. And it helps that you're hot."

She couldn't help but laugh. Because for a moment, he sounded like her life four years ago.

"Right," Cameron remembered. "No flattery."

"I think flattery is understandable now that we're roommates."

"I just saved you from a fiery car crash and some stalker," Cameron said. "I think we're more than roommates."

"I think I could be okay with that," Blair said.

Already the wheels in her head was turning. It had been so long since she schemed to survive. But she knew it was the only way.

She only wished she wasn't so fond of Cameron.


	2. You Wonder

**A/N**: I was pleased that this was mostly received well. I was afraid that Chuck would come across like some sort of psychopath which actually was only received that way minimally which pleased me. The whole Blair-Chuck story will be revealed in flashbacks. I have to warn you that Blair may seem like she's overreacting a lot in this entire fic but that's just her. I'm also glad that you like Cameron because you're supposed to. He's not a bid to make Chuck jealous or anything like that. So he's obviously not like the Cameron in the current SL. BTW, I hope Chuck doesn't come out too creep, even though he's sort of supposed to because that's just him.

**Summary**: It wasn't like he couldn't forgive her, though. She had already buried herself too deep into him to ever let her go. He just had to get her back. Then he would lock her in his penthouse forever so she wouldn't be able to leave him again.

**Disclaimer**: Characters do not belong to me.

* * *

Chuck Bass pinched the bridge of his nose in the darkness of his office. It was past three on a Wednesday. The Empire was the only place he stayed anymore. He made social appearances when Lily deemed it necessary but real time was only spent with his multiple PI's.

Mike had been his first choice. They had history and Mike knew all about Blair. Chuck sent him after "James Schiller." But this wasn't something for amateurs. Four years and in addition to the esteemed, if somewhat underhanded, Andrew Tyler, he also had six other private investigators. Every week he would have a meeting with them but still there was nothing.

Three years ago he had a break through when she was still using her credit cards. She had stayed at her father's for all of three days before she realized Harold was in correspondence with Chuck.

Now she had cut all ties with her family. Serena did nothing but blame him. Nate slightly apprehensive, though they were still friendly. Eleanor wished Blair had finished college but was glad Chuck was still looking for her.

In the end, Chuck was always alone. Alone in his office. Alone in his room where he kept the clothes she left behind kept safe so he could go in their closet and remember her when her scent surrounded him.

Chuck knocked back his glass of scotch as he signed off on more properties. He didn't condone drinking on the job but it was late and whenever the sun went down, he could do nothing but think of her. Think of how she had abandoned him once again and how he should hate her. But he just couldn't.

How he woke up in the middle of the night to see their bed vacated when he thought he should be the happiest in his life.

But she was just gone.

He promised her that he would find her. And he always made good on his promises.

The phone rang, cutting through the impending migraine that he always seemed to have nowadays.

"What?" he asked into the phone. There would only be one sort of person that would be calling him at this hour.

Actually, there was only one type of person that ever really spoke to him anymore.

"Mr. Bass," Tyler said through the line.

"What do you have for me?" Chuck asked impatiently. "It had better be better than that dead end lead you had in Palm Beach. Of course she wouldn't go somewhere in the open like that."

"We are listening in on her messages as you know," Tyler ignored him, used to Chuck's customary recent rage blackouts.

"I hope that's not all I'm paying you for," Chuck snapped.

"She has definitely been listening to them," Tyler answered. As much as this was useless information, his heart fluttered at the image of her face listening to his husky promises. The face that wanted to come back home to him.

But he knew it was just an illusion. The only way he was going to get her back into his home and his bed was dragging her back there by her pretty dark hair.

And she would thank him for it.

Because as scared as she might be, he was more frightened of losing her forever. And then they could be together again. And everything would be okay.

He would make sure of it.

"They wouldn't be deleted if she wasn't."

"We've been over this before," Chuck said. "We know she's been listening to them. She's Blair. Now if that's all, will you excuse me? You're stopping me from going home and staring at my ceiling due to my incurable insomnia."

"That's not all, Mr. Bass," Tyler said before he could hang up.

"You found her?" Chuck asked, enraged that wasn't the first thing Tyler told him.

"No--"

"Then I don't want to hear it," Chuck said with rigid disappointment.

"We think we can trace any calls she makes."

"You can you do that?" Chuck asked. "You don't even know where she is."

"She's getting tired," Tyler said. "We almost had her when she boarded that train."

"We were too late," Chuck nodded.

"That train ride was her last stop," Tyler continued. "She'll probably stop for a while to settle down. No one can run forever. We can probably get a phone number from her soon."

"You better hope so," Chuck said. "Because your job is seriously riding on that hypothetical phone number."

Chuck slammed the phone down before putting his head in his hands.

He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. It had already been four years but it didn't feel like he was any closer than that first night where she broke his heart once again so soon after he foolhardily let her mend it so easily.

Except it was worse this time.

It wasn't like he couldn't forgive her, though. She had already buried herself too deep into him to ever let her go. He just had to get her back. Then he would lock her in his penthouse forever so she wouldn't be able to leave him again.

His eyes fell on his cell as he picked it up gingerly. The numbers of his contacts blurred together at the late hour.

He quickly pressed speed dial and listened at the familiar endless ringing until her quick voicemail. He closed his eyes as her pretty voice rang in his ear. The voice that he hadn't heard in real life for four years.

_...leave a message after the beep._

"Waldorf," Chuck sighed. "How long are we going to keep up this charade? I don't know about you but this is getting very tiresome for me. You can't run forever. Whatever vanilla boy that will find himself head over heels for you will just bore you. And I don't know if you could tell, but I am incredibly drunk right now. If you just answered we could be having phone sex right now. Not that I need to be drunk for that. But you know how irrational I get when I'm drunk. I could end up boarding a plane right now to come and get you. I know exactly where you are."

He hung up.

He hoped she believed his bluff. Then she would freak and get sloppy.

A man could dream.

* * *

Blair slammed the house phone down on the counter. His messages were getting more and more frequent and he was getting more and more drunk. She even laughed when he started slurring about phone sex.

She was falling in love with stupid messages from him.

She hated him.

She loved him.

"Are you alright?"

Blair looked up to see Cameron hesitating in the doorway of the kitchen. She really hoped she had not seen her laughing and simultaneously crying at home phone message of some guy that wasn't supposed to mean anything to her.

He smiled. "It can't be that bad if you're already destroying phones in houses you've moved in for only two months."

Blair laughed throatily.

"I told you my last name," she reminded him. "Don't push your luck."

"Which wasn't that surprising," Cameron said. "I should have known you had a hotel named after you with all those designer clothes you carry around. And a 35,000 dollar necklace."

"Right," Blair said shortly, looking away.

"Though I do have to wonder who would pay that much for a necklace."

"Sentimental value," Blair muttered before reaching his eyes again. "I have to ask you something."

"What?"

"I told you my name," Blair said. "But I have to wonder if you told anyone."

"I promised you I wouldn't."

"Do you Google me?" Blair asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That seems kind of invasive."

And there was the genuineness again.

"Is something wrong?" Cameron asked.

"I can honestly say I have never met anyone like you before," Blair said.

"Where _did_ you live before?" Cameron asked.

"It seems like another life now," Blair said distantly.

"Blair," Cameron said, looking quickly at the phone. "You're not really in trouble, are you?"

"I'm not in trouble," Blair said. "Not physically, at least."

"It's when you say things like that that makes me feel like I'm in over my head," Cameron said.

"Just tell me if you don't want me here anymore," Blair said. "I can take it."

"I can't kick you out."

"You don't need to feel obligated," Blair said.

"You know it wasn't just flattery," Cameron said. "When I saw you that day..."

"What are you doing?" Blair asked, fear striking through her body.

"Sorry," Cameron said, looking down.

"You pity me," Blair said. "It's okay. My life is pretty sad right now."

"I may have wanted to take care of you," Cameron said. "But that doesn't mean I pitied you."

Blair was speechless as he leaned in and kissed her.

"Don't you think this is a little... rash?" Blair asked.

"Isn't that more exciting?" Cameron asked.

And as he kissed her again, Blair didn't feel excitement. But she did feel safe.

* * *

_It was cold on that roof. That was the only thing that was going through her mind. Because he couldn't possibly be doing this. She couldn't really comprehend the gravity of the situation. So that's what she said._

_"I'm cold."_

_"You're... cold," he repeated. "That's all you have to say?"_

_"And confused."_

_"Confused," he repeated._

_"It's windy up here."_

_"We're on a roof," he said._

_"We always seem to be," she commented._

_"I'm not sure what you're implying."_

_"I'm implying that I want to get off this roof," Blair said uncomfortably._

_"We're getting back together and that's all you have to say?" he asked crossly._

_"You're an idiot," Blair snapped. "That's also what I have to say. I didn't even say yes yet."_

_"So that's a 'no?'"_

_"Did it sound like one?" she demanded._

_"It sounded like you were insulting me," he commented coolly. _

_"God, just take me back to your place."_

_"My place."_

_"Our place."_

_"Our place?" he smirked. "So that's an affirmation."_

_"You really are an idiot," Blair muttered as she went to the door that would lead her back into the warmth of the building._

_"I love you too, Waldorf," he said, following closely behind her. "But you do know why I love roofs."_

_"Enlighten me," Blair sighed, crossing her arms over her chest._

_"You know we could get warm up here without going back inside," he suggested._

_"I loathe you," Blair said._

_"So we're back together," he grinned, scalding her mouth with his._

_"Don't get cocky."_

_He didn't let her speak, holding her up against the door that should have led back inside. But they needed to do this. For them._

_He hiked up her elaborate gown while she fumbled with his tie. His throaty laughter left the musk of scotch against her skin and her throat vibrated with her purring on contentment as his hand traveled lower until--_

Blair woke with a start from the common dream. She rolled away from Cameron, throwing the covers back, making her way to the phone in the hallway. She punched in the familiar numbers and listened again to the message she hadn't erased.

"..._You can't run forever. Whatever vanilla boy that will find himself head over heels for you will just bore you. And I don't know if you could tell, but I am incredibly drunk right now. If you just answered we could be having phone sex right now..._"

Blair hung up immediately, her pulse jumping through her skin. She leaned her head against the wall, trying to stop the chaos that was whirling around in her mind.

She took a deep breath and made her way quietly to the bathroom. She opened the bottom drawer and riffled to the bottom where she was sure Cameron wouldn't look. She took out the chain an held it in front of her face. She put it around her neck and studied how well it looked on her.

She quickly yanked it off her neck in frustration, burying it back where it belonged.

Stupid phone calls weren't going to make this better. Because it wasn't even his fault. This time it wasn't his fault. Because it wasn't that she didn't love him anymore.

It had always been that she loved him too much. It was always too much. And she just couldn't handle it.

She refused to let some one sided conversation manipulate her into coming back to him. Especially after all this time. She couldn't just go back after acting in the way she did. Her pride wouldn't let her. It was her that didn't deserve him. Because she was so weak. And it broke her heart.

Cameron was good. Cameron was safe. Even if she hated how much Chuck was right. It could get boring. But there was a sweetness to him that not even Nate could encompass. Of even liar Marcus Beaton.

Cameron was not Upper East Side. Even though he was basically the west coast version of it, he had an innocence that Blair still couldn't understand. It was something so endearing that she couldn't bear to rip it apart.

It was then that it occurred to Blair that maybe she could live this way. Maybe she could marry and have children and live in California without drama or fear or pain.

Or all consuming passion.

"Blair?"

Cameron walked into the bathroom and Blair smiled tightly.

And those thoughts were suddenly gone. She embraced him warmly with the only love she had left in her.

Because she knew she would keep listening to that message and the others ones that would inevitability follow. It was the only love she had in her that wasn't already dominated by raw passion and all consuming... inevitability.


	3. She's Hurting People In a Better World

**A/N:** I understand some of you are still confused. I hope that clears itself up whenyou continue to read. It may come out in a lame way, but all secrets will be revealed in due time.

**Summary**: Sometimes he thought it had to do with punishment. He was being punished for what he had done to her. If he had only caught her before she could escape. He could have saved her.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine except for this contrived plot line.

_

* * *

_

_"You have to tell him."_

_She could feel them all over her. Those judgmental eyes. Blair couldn't handle this. It just wasn't right._

_"Really, Serena?" Blair asked. "Is that what you would do?"_

_"What do you think he'll do when he finds out?" Serena warned._

_"If," Blair corrected, "is the word you're looking for. "And he won't. I'll make sure of that. And so will you."_

_Serena just shrugged off the obvious threat._

_"Right, Serena?"_

_"I'm not getting involved in this."_

_"That's better," Blair muttered._

_"When are you going to the doctor?"_

_"I'm not," Blair answered calmly._

_"Blair," Serena said. "This isn't something you can hide from him. I think he'll notice at least a slight change in the next nine months."_

_"So?" Blair asked. "It's not like he'll know it's his."_

_"Really, Blair?" Serena asked. "It won't occur to him that there's only been one person you've been sleeping with?"_

_"He doesn't know that," Blair said. "In fact, I'll make sure he doesn't know that."_

_"He always knows when you're lying," Serena reminded her. "And I think he'll be able to tell what kid is his or not."_

_"What are you saying?" Blair asked. "That Basses have dominant genes or something?"_

_"No," Serena sighed. "You are. And this obviously is not going to go away."_

_At Blair's silence Serena stared._

_"Is it?"_

_"Don't even suggest what I think you're suggesting," Blair warned. "You know I could never do that. Especially not to him."_

_"You need to tell him."_

_"No," Blair said definitively. "I don't."_

Blair drummed her nails against the kitchen counter. The very reason she had come here was not to dwell on the past. But that obviously wasn't working.

Cameron was out for unspecified reasons. She found it easier to listen to the messages of her ex-ex-lover when her boyfriend wasn't in the room. She couldn't count the number of times he kept calling and kept getting more and more drunk. And his lewd suggestions kept getting dirtier and more seductive.

Now she couldn't even listen when Cameron was in the room anymore. Because she was right. She was falling back in love with his stupid deep voice. And she hated him for it. She had worked so hard to forget about him. And even after four years, their pull was as strong as ever.

But she when she picked up the phone that time, it wasn't to listen to her messages. She listened until the ringing ceased.

"_Miss Waldorf_," her lawyer said over the phone. _"What can I do for you today?"_

"Guess," Blair snapped. She wasn't usually so short with her legal council but this was starting to get ridiculous. Had gotten ridiculous over the past three years.

_"If this has to do with--"_

"Those papers I filed," Blair said. "How did you know?" She was abusing sarcasm at this point.

_"I told you I would contact you if it went through."_

"It's been three years," Blair said sharply. "How can it not have gotten through yet?"

_"Well we are missing the initial piece for that to occur."_

"And that's my fault?" Blair demanded. "This is a very difficult situation."

"You know my hands are tied," her lawyer said.

"What am I supposed to do?" Blair asked. "This isn't fair."

_"Maybe I could suggest a more direct approach than you've been trying."_

"You have got to be kidding," Blair said.

"_It was just a suggestion,_" her lawyer said uncomfortably. Even over the phone, Blair Waldorf was... Blair Waldorf.

"When you have a better one, call me," Blair said. "Or--I don't know-- if it actually goes through."

Her lawyer wasn't about to say that he wouldn't count on it as he hung up. Blair threw her phone across her bed and cradled her head in her hands. She felt all the emotion of everything well up deep within her chest.

Everything about the one person that wouldn't leave her behind and how she couldn't forget him. How the sweet boy who was too fond of her made her feel guilt like she never thought possible. And choked up tears began to run down her face, unable to hold it in.

"Blair?"

Recognizing his voice, she quickly began wiping at her face but she knew he saw it. He took a seat next to her on the bed. She felt his hand on her back and she suddenly had a vivid flashback of her seventeenth birthday. And she just couldn't do it.

Blair leaped from the bed to stand near the wall.

"What happened?" Cameron asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Blair said, knowing how smudged her eye make up was.

"Does it have anything to do with those phone calls you keep making?" he asked. "And keep hanging up?"

"No," Blair sniffed. "That was something different."

"It doesn't have to be this way," Cameron said.

"Yeah?" Blair asked. "And how else could it be?"

Cameron took his place next to her and took a velvet box out of his pocket.

"What the hell is that?" Blair asked.

But she knew. He opened and she looked at the diamond nestled in the velvet. She never looked back into his face, too entranced by the sparkling facets.

"Uh, it's an engagement ring," Cameron said. "If that wasn't a rhetorical question."

She finally did look into his face.

"What are you doing?"

"Proposing."

"Why?" Blair gasped. "You don't know me. All you know is that I'm hiding almost everything about myself."

"I know your name," Cameron smiled. "And I know that I want to take care of you."

"That's not a very good reason," Blair murmured.

"Do you have a better one?"

"Love," Blair said immediately, almost feeling sick to her stomach.

"And I love you," Cameron said.

"You don't," Blair said. "You really don't. Don't you think I should at least love you back?"

"Don't you?" he asked.

"I do."

The strange thing it wasn't a lie. She knew as Cameron slid the ring on her finger that she did love Cameron. She just didn't have it in her to love the way she really did. She could love Cameron with the fraction of her heart that was only reserved for fondness.

Not the love that consumed her soul.

* * *

Chuck scowled at his rattled phone on his bedside table. It was late. It was dark. He was staring at his ceiling, plagued by insomnia that hadn't let him rest for four years.

Just like her.

Sometimes he thought it had to do with punishment. He was being punished for what he had done to her. If he had only caught her before she could escape. He could have saved her.

Something was different in the air tonight, however. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he couldn't sleep in the bed that didn't smell like her anymore. He reached for his phone, clumsily knocking over empty ambur glasses.

"Hello?" he slurred.

_"Drunk again_," Serena sighed. _"Surprise, surprise."_

"Well hello to you too, sis," Chuck said. "It's been awhile."

_"That's more of your own fault."_

"It's sort of hard to take everything in good humor when I know my best friend blames me for the flight of your best friend."

_"Isn't it?"_

"Maybe," Chuck said. "But that doesn't mean I don't care."

"_Is that what you're doing, Chuck?_" Serena asked. "_Caring_?"

"Why do you think I have eight PI's on my payroll?"

"_Obsession_?" Serena asked brightly.

"It's late, Serena," Chuck said darkly. "What do you want?"  
_  
"Eric wanted to make sure you weren't choking on your own vomit."_

"Well now that that's done," Chuck said, about to end the call.

_"Did you find her?"_

Chuck paused at the unexpected question.

"We're getting there."

"_Really_?"

He didn't miss the hopefulness in her voice. His phone buzzed again at an incoming call.

"If I put you on hold will you still be there after?" Chuck asked. "It's my PI."

"_I'll be here,_" Serena said quietly.

"Yes," Chuck said to his PI.

_"We have a phone number."_

"Are you serious?" Chuck asked, unable to contain his excitement as he sat up in bed, still in his three piece suit.

"_Yes, Mr. Bass,_" Tyler said. _"She made a call to her lawyer today."_

"Her lawyer," Chuck said dryly.

"_Yes_," he answered. _"You know--"_

"I know the lawyer," Chuck snapped. "But you have a number."

"_She has a cell phone now_," Tyler said. "_We were cataloging all her contacts and found the new one. He was easy enough to crack."_

"What is it?" Chuck asked. He wrote it down quickly and ended the call.

"Serena," Chuck said. "We have a number."

"_You have her phone number?_" Serena asked in surprise.

"It's only a matter of time before I find her," Chuck said.

_"You'll find her?"_ Serena asked.

"Do you forgive me?" Chuck asked.

"_And I have to wonder where my smug and narcissistic brother went,_" Serena said lightly.

"I miss my family," Chuck said.

"_You'll always have us_," Serena promised and they hung up.

Chuck just wondered if she could understand she wasn't the only family he was thinking of.

Chuck entered the contact under the name that he never deleted from his phone. Chuck stood up and turned on the light in his room for the first time in four years. He shrugged out of his jacket, looking into the mirror for the first time since he could remember.

He smoothed the hair that he knew if she were standing right behind him, she would demand he cut. He laughed, knowing she was right.

And then he realized he was laughing at his own reflection and making sure he looked respectable for someone who couldn't even see him, let alone pick up.

He picked up his phone and pressed on the number that wouldn't just mean leaving a sexual and suggestive message, hoping to entice her back to him.

Good news: It didn't go to voicemail.

Bad news: It wasn't her.

"_Hello_?" asked a distinctly male voice.

Chuck felt his blood surge with rage as red swam in front of his eyes.


	4. Floor Is Hard Uncomforted

**Summary**: _"I know for a fact that this is Blair Waldorf's phone_," he said. _"Don't let your temporary status as her innocent boyfriend delude you into thinking you're a permanent fixture in her life. Or you have any idea what you're getting into."_

**Disclaimer**: Sorry I didn't mention this before but the title and chapters come from the song "Miles Away" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I should have given them credit before. And nothing else is mine either.

* * *

Cameron saw the way Blair would gaze at the ring he gave her when she didn't think that he was watching. He knew she didn't love him. Not in the way that she thought she should love him. He knew how guilty she felt and he knew it definitely had to do with those secretive phone calls she would take but never talk into the receiver.

Instead of that one time he heard her shouting at someone that he was sure had no chance of fighting back. It was the only time she would have spark in her eyes instead of the softness he was accustomed to. And he knew there was a woman in there that he didn't know. And he knew there was a man out there who knew that woman.

Contemplating this, he almost didn't hear Blair's phone rattling on the table with an unfamiliar number flashing across the screen.

"Hello?" Cameron picked up without even thinking. He waited but didn't hear anything. "Hello?"

_"Who is this?"_

And Cameron knew who it was. Blair didn't know anyone in California. He supposed it could have been someone from home but she refused to talk about her past and he knew all the calls she made, she didn't really talk to anyone.

And when she did, she yelled about papers not going through.

So he did know who it was. And he supposed this was the one person from home who called her.

"This is Cameron," he replied with intimidation. He could feel the rage radiating through the phone. And he didn't have to wonder why Blair was afraid. "Who is this?"

"_Cameron_," the stranger uttered with quiet anger. _"Well isn't that... precious."_

"I'm sorry, who is this?" Cameron asked.

"_Put Blair on the phone,_" he all but glowered. Cameron wanted to protect her.

"Who?"

He tried.

_"I know for a fact that this is Blair Waldorf's phone_," he said. _"Don't let your temporary status as her innocent boyfriend delude you into thinking you're a permanent fixture in her life. Or you have any idea what you're getting into."_

"I'm actually Blair's fiancée."

There was silence on the other end.

"Hello?"

"_Fiancée,_" he finally said.

"Who's on the phone?" Blair's voice cut through the voice on the other end.

"It's for you," Cameron said quietly and offered her the phone. "He sounds... upset."

"Who is it?" Blair asked. Cameron just handed her the phone and turned away. Blair took the phone and turned around the corner towards the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"_Fiancée_," Chuck repeated and Blair flinched. She knew getting a phone was a mistake. _"I'm sure you could tell me how that works. How would you explain our little predicament?"_

"Chuck," Blair whispered.

_"It's good to hear you say my name again."_

She could feel his sudden smirk on the other end. She hated how her heart fluttered with familiarity. He was making her whole again and she hated him for it.

_"But don't you think getting a marriage license would alert me more to your whereabouts?"_

"I would be changing me name," Blair said quietly.

"_So that's why you accepted,_" Chuck said thoughtfully. _"Tell me, is the diamond as magnificent as the one in my safe?"_

"I don't know what you think you're doing," Blair finally said.

"_I told you,_" Chuck said. _"It's only a matter of time before I find you."_

"Fine," Blair snapped. "You tell me. Was it Mike or Tyler you put on me?"

"_Try six additional ones,"_ Chuck said. "_Even your number was hard to find. But then again, it was a mistake calling your lawyer on anything but a pay phone."_

"I knew that lawyer couldn't be trusted," Blair muttered. "And neither can you."

"_That isn't anything new,_" Chuck commented.

"And what about you?" Blair asked.

"_I'll never do it,_" Chuck said. _"It's pointless that you even ask."_

"That's what I thought."

_"And what are you going to tell him?"_

"He already thinks that I have a stalker," Blair boasted.

"_He sounds very.._." Chuck laughed, not even bothered by something so very far from the truth, "_vanilla_."

"At least he isn't pimping me out to his uncle."

She knew that would hurt him.

She could tell by his silence.

_"I'm coming for you, Waldorf,_" Chuck promised lowly.

"I don't care how many PI's you put on me," Blair snapped. "You will never find me."

She groaned with frustration as she hung up angrily.

"Who was that?"

Blair looked at Cameron's soft eyes as he stood in the doorway.

"Wrong number," Blair said dully.

"He asked for you by name," Cameron said. He watched Blair's hesitance.

"You can tell me."

"I can't," Blair said softly.

"It was him."

"Who?" Blair asked.

"The person you're running from."

Blair looked at the ground.

"You don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid of him," Blair said. "I'm just afraid of what's going to happen when he finds me."

"You could file a restraining order," Cameron offered.

"Trust me," Blair said. "My traitorous lawyer is failing at working on it."

Cameron looked after as her as she walked away. He was used to her saying things like that. Things that he could never understand. And he was right. He never expected to. But he wanted to keep her safe. And he did love her. Even if her heart was taken by something he didn't know.

"I still want to marry you," Cameron said as he watched at her blank face.

"Why?" Blair asked quietly. "I want to marry _you _for all the wrong reasons. I'm homeless. Without funds. If I marry you I get a different name and security. It has nothing to do with love. Just like it is on the Upper East Side."

"Upper East Side," Cameron repeated. "As in New York. That's where the Waldorf-Astoria is."

Blair nodded.

"And that's where he is."

"For now," Blair said.

"Does he know where you are?"

"It's only a matter of time," Blair said.

"Why?"

Blair smiled.

_He's Chuck Bass._

But she didn't say that.

"Because he knows me," Blair said.

Wasn't that the truth.

_Blair tried to catch her breath in the bathroom at the train station. She sat in the locked stall, staring at the home pregnancy test that she didn't have a home to take it in. _

_Because she was prone to overreaction. She was really kicking herself for her rash runaway it was starting to seem really unnecessary. But that's what the bastard did to her. Everything seemed life of death._

_She stared at the negative sign that made her feel like this was all for nothing._

_She threw in the trash. But she knew she couldn't stop now. So she wasn't pregnant. But she had come so far now anyway. Already she had to sell her Marc Jacobs. And that was hard to part with. But if there was one thing she wouldn't go as low to hock were the diamonds that lay under her clothing. And that told her something._

_She knew it did. It didn't bode well that the man she ran away from in her overreaction of pure unadulterated fear of something that wasn't even going to happen was still literally next to her heart in a heart diamond pendant that was worth 35,000 dollars._

_She didn't know what it was, but she was more paranoid than usual. She stepped out of the bathroom and she knew exactly why. She thought she was being careful. She thought everything was okay. Chuck was obviously always onto her._

_"Take a picture. It'll last longer."_

_The man started and looked at her. His face dropped. _

_"Mike, you are really losing your touch. Usually I don't even see you."_

_"I'm not the only one here, Miss Waldorf."_

_"Then why don't you send him a message?" Blair asked. "He will never catch me."_

_She had too much pride. She couldn't stop now. She couldn't just go back to him. She couldn't tell him the only reason she ran was because she was weak. Things had been too perfect and she freaked._

_She had pride like him. She ran out of speculation and now it was all for nothing. But she was already running. And seeing Mike gave her a very real jolt of reality. Chuck was coming. What could she do but run?_

_She didn't give Chuck's beloved PI the chance to catch her as she fled through the crowd. She ran up the stairs towards the track. She was sure that Chuck wouldn't have come himself. Mike spotted her by chance._

_As the train arrived, she was sure of it. That didn't stop her skittishly jumping right on board when she thought she spotted pastels and paisley._

_"Ticket, miss?"_

_Blair jumped and handed it over as he punched it._

_She hadn't just imagined it. The train began to jolt forward and dark eyes met dark slanting ones sparking with recognition. _

_And very real heartbreak._

* * *

Serena walked into the penthouse that she hadn't been in since she was dating Nate. She stared at how much it had changed. And how much it hadn't.

It was in disarray and she knew if she looked in the drawers and closets, there would be left over clothing that belonged to a certain society princess with expensive taste.

She spotted the suitcase on the bed. Chuck rushing into his room, piling bow ties and expensive shirts into it.

"What are you doing?" Serena asked.

"I didn't have time to call someone to pack for me," Chuck said. "The limo's waiting."

"Where are you going?" Serena asked. She looked as Chuck looked at her with his dark intensity and she knew. "You found her?"

"I have to go."

"Where is she?"

"I called her," Chuck said. "She sounded..."

Chuck laughed harshly and started zipping up his belongings.

"I thought you couldn't trace cell phone calls," Serena said.

"Tyler got her area code and said it was in California."

"California?" Serena asked. "She went that far?"

"And even across the country, she couldn't deny me," he said smugly.

"She invited you, did she?" Serena asked doubtfully. Chuck just picked up his suitcase. "How do you know where she is?"

"Tyler researched the most recent purchases of engagement rings," Chuck said. He looked up at her. "I know exactly where she is."

"She's engaged?" Serena asked.

"Not for long," Chuck sneered.

"Wait," Serena said, following him through the rooms. "I'm coming with you."

"No you're not," Chuck said, pressing the button for the elevator.

"What do you expect to find there, Chuck?" Serena asked. "She won't come back with you. She has another life now. She has a fiancée. And what about what she had before she even got there?"

"I'm getting my family back," Chuck said.

"What if she doesn't want you to?" Serena asked.

"She doesn't have a say in that," Chuck replied. "She's not the only one who's a parent."

"You've never even met your child," Serena said. "Maybe there's a reason why she's keeping you away."

"She won't keep me away from my own child, Serena," Chuck said.

"Chuck," Serena said as he waited for the elevator. "I want my best friend back."

"And your niece or nephew?" Chuck smirked.

"Did you talk about it?"

"I was more reeling from the fact that she was engaged."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Serena asked. "What could you possibly say to make her come home?"

"The truth," Chuck said and he walked into the elevator.

* * *

**A/N**: So I hoped that satisfied your taste for the truth. That's the story and yes, Blair did run because she is completely dramatic and paranoid. And no, Chuck is not a maniac.


	5. You're More Beautiful Than Ever

**A/N**: So some people are still a little confused but I promise things will be getting at least a little clearer. This is actually my favorite chapter because I'm a true Chair fan (spoiler alert) and you'll see why too. Sorry people were so confused (yet again) about the "pregnancy" SL. And by the way I put pregnancy in quotes I hope you get my drift. I have to point out now, even though I should be stating it more in the story that the baby isn't the only reason Chuck is chasing after her. It's what's making him mad at her. I'll be sure to make that more clear.

**Summary**: There she was in all her glory. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. And then he looked contemptibly at the sparkling diamond on her finger.

**Disclaimer**: Only this convuluted plot line is mine.

* * *

He had to let Serena come with him in the jet. She was a hard woman to shake. But he was in no way letting her come with him to follow the woman he had been chasing for four years.

"She was my best friend before she was your..."

"My what, exactly?" Chuck smirked.

"I don't understand how you can be so..." Serena started. "Chuck about this."

"Why not?"

"Because she has a fiancée."

"That is easily rectified."

"How, exactly?" Serena asked. "She has perfected the art of resisting you."

"Because she doesn't love him," Chuck said easily.

"How do you know?"

"Otherwise she would have gone through the trouble of having a society wedding instead of hiding away in California."

"What makes you think she'll come back?" Serena asked.

"I can be very persuasive," Chuck said.

"And here I thought I would say 'I'm Chuck Bass,'" Serena rolled her eyes.

"That's still not off the table."

"What is wrong with you?" Serena asked. "This could go horribly wrong."

"I am just more composed than you," Chuck said. "I don't emote as painfully obvious as you do."

"I miss our conversations," Serena said dryly, looking outside the window. She looked curiously back at him.

"What?" Chuck sighed, not having to look at her to know she was looking at him.

"Did you ever consider the real reason she ran off?"

"I know why she ran away from me," Chuck said darkly. "And so do you."

"And what if you don't know everything, Chuck?" Serena asked.

"Impossible," Chuck snorted.

* * *

When Blair woke up that day, she knew there was something different. Something was... off. But she got up anyway. She went through the motions though she felt a strange sense of foreboding.

She heard Cameron's motions downstairs as she locked herself in the bathroom. She rifled through the bottom drawer again and found it. She looped the chain around her neck and placed it underneath her clothes so he couldn't see.

Right next to her heart.

She walked into her bedroom just in time to hear her phone ring. She picked it up, looking at the familiar number.

"Hello?" she asked.

"_Miss Waldorf_," her lawyer greeted.

"The papers?" she asked quickly.

"_Actually_," her lawyer said, "_something else_."

"I thought you said you would call me if they went through."

"_Unless you actually do want a restraining order, there's nothing else I can do for you_," her lawyer said. "_This is actually about Mr. Bass."_

"What about him?" she asked tensely.

Dimly she heard the door open and close downstairs.

"_He contacted me himself_," he said. "_And he made it very clear that whatever wishes you have... will not be possible."_

"Well that isn't up to him," Blair snapped.

"_At this point, I would have to disagree with you_," her lawyer said. "_I'm sorry there's nothing else I can do."_

"Then you're of no use to me," Blair said and she threw her phone against the wall with a frustrated scream.

She started down the stairs to the living room.

Then she wished she hadn't.

* * *

Chuck Bass stood for a whole five minutes, glaring at the front door of the mansion in Orange County before finally knocking. He took a step away, observing the other elaborate houses on the street.

He should have known she would have picked the western version of the Upper East Side. At least she was still thinking of him in one way or another.

He ran his hand agitatedly through his hair. He heard the door open and turned.

Of course it wouldn't be her who would answer the door.

"Can I help you?"

Chuck stared at his stupid blue eyes and tall stature. He held out his hand.

"Chuck Bass."

They shook hands and Chuck edged his way into his house. He walked towards the living room and made himself at home on the couch.

"Is Blair home?" Chuck asked with a smirk.

"You're him, aren't you?" he asked. Chuck had expected an overreaction of some sort and not this zen figure at peace with everyting. How could he sabotage in this environment?

"So you're the fiancée," Chuck said coolly.

"And you're..." Cameron said.

"I think it would be foolish of me to suppose you've never heard of me," Chuck said smugly.

"Blair's never spoken of you."

"I was thinking more if you read _Forbes_," he replied.

"Right," Cameron said. "I don't really... do that."

"Well that explains some of it."

"What?"

"Why she chose you."

"She didn't choose me," Cameron said. "Her car did."

"Blair was driving?" Chuck asked skeptically.

"Well she did," Cameron said. "Until she crashed it into mine."

"Is she alright?" Chuck asked, standing up quickly. "Where is she?"

"You really care about her."

"Why else would I be here?" Chuck asked.

"Because you're a stalker."

"A stalker?" Chuck asked, though he couldn't be that surprised. He had been technically having her followed. And she had warned him. "Did she tell you that?"

"No," Cameron said. "I just heard her on the phone with her lawyer."

"Well the answer to that is simple," Chuck said. "But she wasn't trying to get a restraining order."

"What was it for?"

"Oh my god."

Chuck turned and felt sudden relief flood through his veins.

There she was in all her glory. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Four years, if anything, made her more alluring to him. Donning the expensive designer clothes that he missed. He wasn't leaving this town without her.

He couldn't help but think about how well she lost the weight.

And then he looked contemptibly at the sparkling diamond on her finger.

"Blair," he said gently, taking a step towards her.

"Just wait a second," Cameron said. "What is going on here?"

"We're kicking him out," Blair said dangerously. "That's what's going on."

"I don't think so," Chuck said. "I came here for a reason."

"Maybe I really should get a restraining order," Blair said dryly.

"It wouldn't change anything," Chuck said. "It wouldn't change the fact that if you don't tell him now, he'll know when he tries to get a marriage license that you can't marry him."

"Blair?" Cameron asked. "What is he talking about?"

"I have no idea."

"You wanted a different last name," Chuck said. "Well you already have one. And it's Bass. Don't tell me you don't remember the best night of our lives? The night we got back together."

"What's going on?" Cameron asked in exasperation.

Chuck sighed. "What's going on is that you're trying to marry my wife."

_She could feel his eyes all over her as she slid her dress back over her thighs on the top of the roof. She dimly heard the rustle of his clothing. She put her hand to the door that led back inside when she realized he wasn't with her._

_Blair turned around and stared._

_There he was. The boy she had known all her life. The boy that knew her darkest secrets and actually contributed in them. The boy that broke her heart was down on one knee and she couldn't breathe, let alone form words._

_He was looking at her with taunting eyes, his hair still tousled from their excursion on the roof. His dark and humorous eyes taunted her to speak._

_"What are you doing?" she asked quietly._

_"Guess," he smirked. She grabbed his arm and attempted to drag him._

_"Get on your feet," she snapped. "You look ridiculous."_

_"Is this really the way you want to tell your grandchildren that you got engaged?"_

_"No, it's the story I'll tell my grandchildren about that insane boy I used to date."_

_"Or the very romantic way your husband proposed to you," he said with a grin._

_"Romantic."_

_"I have a ring."_

_"A ring," Blair stated. "You planned this."_

_"It's in my safe," Chuck shrugged, still on the ground. "But I was just thinking..."_

_"It's really hard for me to take you seriously with you kneeling on the ground like that."_

_"When tonight finally happened," Chuck continued as though she had never spoken, "I i knew I could never accept losing you again."_

_"You're right," Blair said dryly. "This is very romantic."_

_"Marry me."_

_"That wasn't even a question."_

_"It wasn't meant to be," Chuck said coolly._

_"Will you at least stand up?" Blair asked weakly, knowing what her answer all along could only be._

_"Not until I get my answer."_

_"That wasn't even a question," she snapped._

_"Do you want to be my wife or not?"_

_He didn't sound annoyed, just amused. Like he already knew her answer._

_"Don't be cocky."_

_"Impossible."_

_"What makes you so sure I'll say yes?" Blair asked._

_"What other answer is there?" he asked genuinely._

_"No."_

_"Is that your answer?"_

_Blair paused. "No."_

_He grinned. "My knee is starting to hurt."_

_"Than stand up."_

_"Just tell me you want to marry me," he said impatiently. He always had to have what he wanted when he wanted it. Spoiled bitch._

_"Well now I don't want to," Blair said indifferently._

_"Why not?"_

_"We're 19."_

_"We're also Blair and Chuck," he teased. Blair rolled her eyes. "If you don't answer now, I'm just going to assume you'll have to be accepting of the forcing of a ring on your finger while you're sleeping after the inevitable make up sex we're about to have."_

_"We already had that," she reminded him._

_"But then we can also have we-just-got-engaged-sex-and-we're-going-to-be-as-obnoxiously-loud-as-possible sex."_

_Blair offered him her hand to assist him on the rise to his feet. He ignored it._

_"Just say yes."_

_"No."_

_"Now you're just trying to spite me."_

_"How is that any different from any other day?" she asked prettily._

_"Blair."_

_"Chuck."_

_"I'm going to start calling you Mrs. Bass just to annoy you," he said smartly._

_"Fine," she sighed._

_"Fine?" he repeated. "That's all I'm going to get for my pains?"_

_"I'm sure your delicate knee will heal," she replied. "And you didn't even ask me properly."_

_"And if I give you a ring?"_

_"Then I suppose we can come to a compromise."_

_"I love you too," he said, rising to his feet. "I'll get it to you after."_

_"After what?" she asked._

_"After we get married."_

_"Tonight?" Blair asked, shocked. "No."_

_"I think I've made it very clear that I can persuade you to do anything."_

_"Please," Blair scoffed._

_"The loss of your virginity to begin with."_

_"I propositioned _you_," she reminded him. "And you're an idiot if you think I'm going to forgo a proper society wedding."_

_"I want to get married now," he said petulantly. _

_She couldn't help but find it adorable._

_"Chuck Bass," she sighed, pulling him closer by the lapel of his jacket. "Are you trying to lock me down?"_

_"Yes," he deadpanned. "...Mrs. Bass."_

_"Fine," she sighed again._

_"Is that all I get?"_

_"You'll be getting more tonight," she said suggestively before kissing him. "After I get my ring."_

_"Acceptable," he said._

_"So," Blair said as they walked back inside. "We're getting married."_

_"We're getting married," he repeated. "Right now."_


	6. Looking In the Car's Review Mirror

**A/N**: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. This is a definite turning point. I originally planned to have this be the last chapter but a lot of reviews wondered how Chuck would react to the baby situation and I decided that I dismissed it too quickly. I'm not sure how many more chapters I'll have, but a couple at least. So I hope this is to your satisfaction.

**Summary**: Nothing had changed. She was legally his wife and legally she couldn't get married to anyone else. And he wasn't about to forsake the right he had as a husband to hire someone to bludgeon the hell out of her lover.

**Disclaimer**: Only this contrived plotline belongs to me.

* * *

Chuck spun his silver band around his fourth finger in the middle of the bar. It was surprising how many women resisted approaching him now. It shouldn't, but he was still Chuck Bass. What was surprising still was how much he didn't care. He had a wife to care for now.

A family.

None of those trivial things seemed to matter anymore.

He thought she had felt the same way.

He slid it off his finger, narrowing his eyes at it in the dim bar lights at the inscription on the inside of it.

_Magnetism_.

He smirked, remembering what he had put on the inside of hers, wishing it even mattered anymore. Because whatever she had, she was hiding from him, replacing one husband with another.

One family with another.

He sighed, sliding it back to its rightful place where a slight tan line lined his left hand.

He had been served with papers.

"Chuck Bass?"

"Yes?"

"You've been served."

It didn't matter, however.

He knew this and a year after she had disappeared when she went to that extent, he knew he was getting close. That was the only reason. He was getting to her and she was getting desperate.

But she would never divorce him.

This he was sure of.

He refused to sign the papers. And like it or not, the Bass name meant more than that. If she really wanted a divorce she would have to come back to court. For him, it was a win-win situation. Either she came back and he would be able to trap her. Or she stayed away and he would stay married to her.

Sometimes he wished for the former. Sometimes he just wanted his wife back.

He knew they were young. Very young. At first he thought that was the reason. She would come back. Maybe with an annulment pushed on her by Eleanor. But she never contacted her mother.

She never contacted anyone.

That didn't mean that they didn't know.

That didn't mean that his very sister was a conspirator.

So he sat in that bar, knowing nothing had changed. She was legally his wife and legally she couldn't get married to anyone else. And he wasn't about to forsake the right he had as a husband to hire someone to bludgeon the hell out of her lover.

Because technically, that was exactly what Cameron was.

Chuck hated him for it.

He hated him because Cameron was probably the most genuine person he had ever met.

Yes, he hated him.

"I exercise my right as a husband," Chuck said gruffly as Cameron took a seat beside him at the bar.

"Are you going to kill me?" Cameron joked good naturedly. Chuck sent him a look and he fell silent.

"You really have no idea where your darling fiancé comes from, do you?" Chuck asked quietly.

"I know the lifestyle," Cameron said.

"I meant me," Chuck explained. "You don't know where she comes from."

"Is she your property or something?" Cameron asked coldly. Chuck smirked.

"That would make this a lot easier, wouldn't it?" Chuck asked. "If I owned her I could just drag her back on my private jet. But it is wholly more complicated than that. The fact is that she chooses to come back to me time after time. And that's the difference."

"She's run from you before?" Cameron asked.

"Not in such a dramatic way," Chuck said. "But I suppose she has."

"We're really different," Cameron said. "So I have to ask. What is it that you see in her?"

Chuck slid off his ring, sliding it towards Cameron.

"We were 19," Chuck said. "I had just turned. She was running because I hurt her until she was too tired to run anymore."

"So you proposed?" Cameron asked, reading the slanting cursive.

"Is it so different from what you did?" Chuck asked. "You knew her for what, two months before you popped the question? Well I knew her for almost two decades before I did. And I knew. I just knew. There was no one for me but her."

"She ran from you," Cameron said, sliding the ring back across the table before Chuck put it back into place.

"And you have massively underestimated me if you think I'm just going to roll over and take it," Chuck said darkly.

"I don't," Cameron said. "I just have to wonder if it's worth it."

"Do you think she's the one for you?" Chuck asked. He listened intently to Cameron's silence. "Then why is it worth it to you?"

"Because she needs help."

"A regular humanitarian," Chuck said, rolling his eyes.

"You didn't answer my question."

"There's no one reason for it," Chuck said. "I stopped trying to classify what Blair and I are when I was 16. Because there's no name for us. We just are. I know you can't understand something like that but when I look at Blair, I know she makes me better. And when she's gone, I'm nothing. I don't even remember my life before her. Before November of 2007, there's nothing. Just an endless mural of meaningless lays and empty silences."

Cameron studied the man before him. The man that glared at his reflection in the mirror above the bar.

"I can't leave my family."

"So what made her leave?" Cameron asked.

"If I knew that," Chuck answered, "she never would have left."

_His bed was cold and he knew it. He knew it instantaneously that his wife of one night was not his physical wife anymore. He turned and her side was made with only the faint aroma of what she used to be._

_He didn't get up that day. He lay in the bed, pretending that she was just behind the closed doors of the bathroom or at Bergdorfs or moving into her dorm._

_It was the only thing he could do to not drive himself insane._

_Until reality hit him._

_"She's gone."_

_Chuck sat up uneasily in his paisley bathrobe that had become his uniform in the past week. He glared hazily at the blonde in his doorway._

_"What are you doing here?" he asked incoherently._

_"It smells like you bathed in scotch and nicotine, Chuck," Serena said before opening the drapes. _

_"A defense mechanism for people who make obvious statements," Chuck growled, shielding his eyes from the blinding light and his impending migraine._

_"She's gone, Chuck."_

_"Stop. Talking," Chuck said, getting up if only to usher her away._

_"What did you do?"_

_"Me?" Chuck sneered, instantly furious. He watched Serena swallow nervously and he knew. He knew she knew something._

_He knew she knew why his wife had left him._

_"Tell me," he demanded, grabbing hold of her forearms._

_"Let go of me," Serena said shrugging him off._

_"You know," Chuck said. "You know why she left me."_

_"She already did leave you," Serena said._

_"Until the night before she left," Chuck hinted, knowing it would infuriate his sister._

_"...What?" Serena asked. Horrifically, her eyes drifted down to his hand to see what encircled his fourth finger. "Chuck, you didn't."_

_"And now she's gone," Chuck said. "So tell me. Go ahead. Tell me it's my fault that she's gone."_

_"Maybe it is," Serena said. "But it's not all your fault."_

_"Oh no?" Chuck asked with dark humor. "Enlighten me."_

_"You proposed to her," Serena whispered, more to herself._

_"I married her," Chuck said. "Like things are supposed to be."_

_"You're 19."_

_His dark eyes studied her and she knew she was going to burst. She just hoped Blair was far enough away._

_"Maybe she would have left you even if you hadn't gotten married," Serena said, knowing it was just a disaster waiting to happen._

_"Coy doesn't suit you, sis," Chuck said shortly._

_"She's scared, Chuck," Serena said. "You can't blame her for any mistakes she's going to make. You're overwhelming her. Marriage and then... She's just not ready."_

_"Ready," Chuck repeated._

_"And all of the hormones are probably going to her head-"_

_"Hormones," Chuck repeated and he knew._

_"I'm sorry, Chuck."_

_And he knew._

_"She left to get rid of my baby."_

The hammering on his door alerted him of her presence. He stumbled in his haze of anger and whiskey to rip the door open.

She still made him pause in wonder. Even at her furious features as she pushed past him and her aura of anger, he still couldn't believe it. Almost half a decade. It seemed a lot. Almost half a decade and he could smell her again. He was in her presence again.

He would make her his again.

"Hello, lover," he greeted in his husky tone. Finally he could look her in the face when he said it.

"Don't," Blair snapped. "Just... don't."

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Chuck smirked.

"How can you be so..." Blair trailed off looking into his face.

"Instinct," Chuck shrugged.

"I came here to tell you something," Blair said. "And when I do I expect you to leave my life forever."

"Not going to happen, sweetheart," he sneered. "I haven't spent all my waking hours looking for you just to throw it away."

"Well you should," Blair snapped. "I'm not worth the trouble."

A catalyst brewed beneath the surface and the unspoken worry began to crackle and spark into conversation.

"I beg to differ," Chuck whispered, nearing her. She should have made herself ready. She should have prepared herself. She lost the vague immunity to him that she developed before she left. She hadn't been here in so long she had become susceptible to him again.

His hand traveled down her face to the nape of her neck. He smiled with something that could only be construed as sentimentality.

And he found her chain.

She tried to jerk away before he held steadfast to her, pinning her to the wall.

"What do we have here?" he asked softly, pulling the chain from where it lay under her blouse. He held it in front of his face with a smirk of victory.

"This does not look like the type of jewelry that an estranged wife would keep who claims she is so over her husband."

Her eyes were attracted to the glittering silver band on the chain that always laid over her heart. The one she could never bear to pawn and could never bear to be without.

"Does it?"

"It doesn't matter," Blair said. "None of it matters anymore."

She shoved him away, stuffing the chain back under her shirt, hidden from the world.

"Of course it matters," Chuck said. "Why else would I have come all this way? Why wouldn't I have given up after all this time?"

"Well it was a mistake," Blair exclaimed.

"Like our baby?"

He watched in bitter triumph as the color drained form her face.

"Baby."

"You think I didn't know," Chuck said. "The real reason why you left. It wasn't because you were afraid of getting married so young. You were afraid of what was growing inside of you. What of mine was growing inside of you. I know why you ran away."

Blair couldn't help the tears well in her eyes.

"And I told you it doesn't matter," Chuck said. "I thought I wouldn't have been able to look for you. But it doesn't matter, Blair. You got rid of my baby. I know you were scared. And we both know the things you and I do when we're scared. Just come back with me."

She was still staring at him.

"Got rid of it," she repeated slowly. What he was saying was preposterous. And the fact that he wasn't aware of how preposterous it was made it even more preposterous that she couldn't speak. She couldn't help stare at him incredulously.

Because she knew no matter how frightened she truly was, that was one thing she would never be able to do.

"It doesn't matter," Chuck said softly. "If time apart has taught us anything its that we can start again. Just come back with me."

"No," Blair said curtly and in that one second she made a life altering decision.

"You think I'm just going to give up," Chuck snorted.

"I think you're going to walk away from us," Blair said powerfully. "I killed your son, Chuck. Denial isn't getting you anywhere. I killed your family."

She watched his stony expression as she put her hand on the knob to leave.

"I don't expect to see you again."

She slammed the door behind her, leaving Chuck alone. He glared at the spot that she had vacated, feeling hot emotion course through him.

She should have known.

She should have known that she could only provoke him.

* * *

a.n. So this went into a radically different direction than I had originally anticipated. Tell me what you think.


	7. By the Second Time She Wondered

**A/N**: So whoa, a lot of reviews for last chapter which I'm pleased with. (Past 100, yay!) At least I'm getting some sort of reaction. I'm glad people aren't dropping this story. This is going on longer than I expected so I don't really know how many more chapters but it can't be more than a couple. You'll see why in the direction this is heading at the end of the chapter. Good thing I was urged by a reviewer to post this or you would have gotten it later rather than sooner.

**Summary**: No matter what, it was one thing that she could never do. She could never kill Chuck's blood. It would be killing herself. Especially when it was a part of her as well.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me.

* * *

She should have been proud of herself. She had held it together until she got to the car. She was surprised she didn't break down right outside the door. He would have heard her. And then he would have known the truth. Because she was positive that there was a time when she could hide nothing from him.

Times had changed.

Because for the first time in her life, she had successfully lied to him. There was no _you're eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth_ or the shaky _thank you, that's all I needed to hear_ with half concealed tears.

He had always known when she was lying.

Maybe this was the end. Maybe they just couldn't match anymore.

Blair leaned her head against the steering wheel and let her body wrack itself with sobs. No matter what, it was one thing that she could never do. She could never kill Chuck's blood. It would be killing herself. Especially when it was a part of her as well.

He assumed she had. He just assumed that she was some soulless monster that would just defile them. If anything, that was what broke her. The revelation of what he thought of her.

Cameron found her in the car.

She was parked outside of the house, not able to force her body to obey the commands her brain was making.

_Stop being weak._

_Stop caring._

_Stop _loving_ him goddammit._

The same ones she told herself since she was 17.

It was as successful presently as it was then.

The door to the passenger side closed behind him. They were silent for a moment as Blair let the tears dry in hard streaks down her face. She was thankful for the silence. She was accomplished in hiding her feelings from other people. It was just a tear and they wouldn't have known she was sad at all.

Cameron was silent and Blair was thankful. He could really make her happy. He could never make her passionately ecstatic and euphoric but they could be happy like her parents were. Living a life of illusion to cover up a very harsh reality.

They were in love with someone other than their spouse.

"What happened?" Cameron finally spoke.

She was just glad he had given her time to compose herself. Almost as though he knew her.

But it was just by chance.

"Nothing," she whispered, refusing to look him in the eye.

"Don't lie to me."

But he didn't know.

Not really.

_You're eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth._

He couldn't tell.

"Was it him?" Cameron asked tentatively, not wanted to broach the subject that was so stressful for them on both sides.

Blair finally found the ability to look him in the face. "He won't be coming around anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I visited him today," Blair said truthfully, knowing that if there was one thing she couldn't do, it was lie to Cameron.

"So did I," he answered.

"He won't be coming around anymore," she said, more softly this time.

"I really don't know how to believe that," Cameron answered. "He doesn't seem the type to give up."

"I didn't give him a choice," Blair said.

"Did you call the cops?" Cameron asked in surprise. It had never really occurred to her to actually go through with that. She supposed that to a legal standpoint, he was technically breaking the law. Ignoring a subpoena but then again, he was Chuck Bass.

"No," Blair denied.

"What then?"

"Cameron," Blair said, her knuckles whitening around the steering wheel with tension. "I have to tell you something I did."

Pause.

"Something that I had to tell him," she said. "To make him go away."

Cameron could hear something he couldn't recognize.

"Blair," he said. "What did you do?"

* * *

The knocks on the door were rapid and concise and for a fear inspiring moment, Serena thought Blair had come back. Chuck didn't like his step-sister hanging around. He was sure that seeing her best friend there would push Blair far away and she was already too far for his taste.

Serena had initially been against Chuck's union with her best friend. It wasn't because he was perverse or he was Chuck Bass. He was her brother, for all intents and purposes. And as much as she would deny it out loud wholeheartedly, she loved him. And the truth was that everyone could see that he and Blair were just right.

They were barely adults when they exchanged rings, however. Serena had seen far too many broken marriages to be not paranoid by it.

Things were different now.

Now they were adults and Serena just wanted her friends back, as selfish as she could be. She just wanted her sister back. Her beautiful soul sister with her vain and selfish partner of a devil. Because they were just meant to be together.

When she returned, she spotted Chuck drowning his sorrows at the bar. She promised herself to go fish him out at an hour past, but she was honestly afraid of what he might do.

So she waited.

She waited until she heard the knocks, hoping maybe Chuck had forgotten his key in his drunken stupor.

She was utterly surprised.

"Hello?" Serena asked in confusion.

"Hi," the man said in front of her. "Are you Serena?"

"Yes," Serena said, taken aback before she realized. She stepped aside to let him inside before answering. "You're Cameron."

"Yes," he said sternly. From Chuck's nonchalance towards his so called competition, Serena assumed he must be somewhat of a pushover. But he was standing in front of her with determination in her eyes and she was worried. "Where's Chuck?"

"You didn't see him downstairs?" Serena asked.

"I must have missed him."

"Is something wrong?" Serena asked.

"Why is Chuck downstairs?" Cameron asked instead.

"Obviously drowning in sorrows in liquor," Serena answered.

"Because he thinks Blair aborted their child."

At first, Serena wasn't sure if she had heard it correctly. It was something so blunt only Chuck would say. But he was looking at her with complete seriousness and Serena knew it was exactly what she thought she heard.

"What?" Serena asked in surprise. "What did she tell you?"

"She was never pregnant," Cameron asked. "She would never get rid of it."

"Well I could have told him that," Serena answered sharply. Blair would never do anything to hurt Chuck. Especially his offspring, whether it was borne by her or not.

"Could have said what?"

The pair spun to see a confused and disheveled Chuck in the doorway. His hair was mussed and his scent of nicotine and alcohol was apparent from where he stood.

"Chuck," Cameron said. "There's something that you need to know."

_It wasn't long before she found him. Serena had found him. Nate had found him. Lily had found him. Even Rufus Humphrey showed some sort of concern, not that he appreciated it. For awhile, Chuck was sure that Eleanor Waldorf didn't care at all._

_His elevator doors opened and there the regal and elegant woman stood, pressed in original designs that Chuck stared at through his muddled brain._

_"Charles," Eleanor said stiffly. Chuck couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh that she was unmoved by. Ever since Blair made her disappearing act it was _Charles _instead of _Chuck_. _

_Eleanor had only been the one to ever respect him like that._

_Then again, he was always being addressed as the trouble making teenager that he apparently still was. No one marries their 19 year old girlfriend without being trouble._

_"Welcome to my humble abode," Chuck said, gesturing slovenly to the room in shambles._

_"Yes," Eleanor answered eloquently. "Though it is quite obvious you haven't let a maid within a 100 mile radius."_

_"I've been preoccupied," Chuck said, pouring himself a drink. He offered her one but she just looked down her nose at him._

_"So I've heard," Eleanor said. "Six private investigators was it?"_

_"Eight," Chuck corrected. "You forgot Tyler and Mike."_

_"Of course," Eleanor said, her expression softening. "I thought you would have given up your bid for liver disease by now."_

_"At least I can still walk in a straight line," Chuck answered. But she was smiling at him quaintly and Chuck wondered why he had to mix that cocaine with his whiskey._

_"I am surprised by your devotion to my daughter," Eleanor answered._

_"Devotion," Chuck repeated. He was sure that his smoke screen didn't look like devotion-as Nate made it apparent-but then again, Eleanor wasn't just the casual observer. She was Eleanor Waldorf. She taught Blair everything she knew. And for that, she would be respected._

_"The last time you were apart I recall several reports of three sexual partners a night."_

_Chuck honestly didn't want to hear his legal mother-in-law speak of sexual partners but he was intrigued by her unexplained presence._

_"But I suppose it's different this time."_

_"How?" Chuck asked, more curious as why she would think it was to him._

_"As my daughter's husband, I would expect you to be searching for her relentlessly," Eleanor said. "I am pleased that you are showing such displays of affection."_

_"I guess you have intel of your own," Chuck answered at Eleanor's blunt statement._

_"I don't need a private investigator to prove to me what I already know," Eleanor answered. "My daughter loves you more than life itself."_

_"Love_d_," Chuck answered. "Maybe. As I am certain you are aware of, she left me."_

_"And what are you doing to rectify the situation?" Eleanor asked. "Having your men look at her cell phone bill? She is a Waldorf. She is far more clever than that."_

_"And I'm a Bass," Chuck answered. "And you can't possibly think I'm just going to let this go."_

_"Good," Eleanor answered. "Then do it."_

_"What?"_

_"She needs to hear your voice," Eleanor said, "to lure her back to the fold. She needs you to be firm with her so that she understands your reluctance to let her go. I know my daughter. She's as stubborn as you are. And she needs someone like you to make it clear to her that this isn't just going to rectify itself."_

_"You're talking as though you're setting some trap," Chuck answered._

_"Aren't you?" Eleanor said. "You really think I don't know anything about my daughter. And you really don't think I don't see what attracts her to you."_

_"Yes," Chuck answered, uncomfortable with Eleanor speaking so frankly with him. "Her plummet in self esteem is proof of that."_

_"Maybe," Eleanor said tersely. "But I do see her. I saw when she came back with her British boyfriend whom you befriended to Blair's discomfort. I know how this game works. I am her mother. And to win back my daughter it requires strategy and the dedication of battle. Why do you think Nathaniel never even stood a chance?"_

_It was easy to smile at that._

_"Call her."_

_"I've _been _calling her," Chuck said in frustration._

_"Then say something worth listening to," Eleanor said. "I know you have it in you. Only you could have the strength for my daughter."_

_"You haven't ostracized me for marrying your daughter at 19," Chuck said after a moment observationally._

_"Bring her back and I'll consider orchestrating a society wedding for the two of you," Eleanor simply said before leaving Chuck alone._

_This phone call would be a private one._

_"Hello, lover," he greeted. It would be forever something that she was to him. Forever would she be his. And this time, she was going to listen to him. He took a deep breath and finally said something worth listening to._

_The truth._

_"The only thing that is keeping me from coming after you right now is the fact that I know you listen to these messages with constant vigilance," Chuck started, angry at her for acting like he meant nothing. _

_Like they meant nothing._

_But then he smirked, knowing what to say next. _

_"That you still love listening to my voice. But it's only a matter of time. You know that."_

_He could always weaken her with such seductive truths. _

_So just keep listening," Chuck said. "I'll keep leaving messages that I know you listen to. Next time I'll get your number. And then I'll get your coordinates. Then your house. I will find you, Waldorf. Don't think I'm ever going to give up on us. You know that."_

_He didn't care if she took it as a threat. That's what it was. He would threaten her that if she didn't come back to him, he would do it for her. He would force her to see that they were something that nothing could compare._

_As always._

_"I still do," he confessed after a moment. She had to know. This wasn't over for him. It never was. "I love you. Always."_

"Always."

She hadn't heard the door. Cameron had left some time ago with the car and she had walked back into the house, needing to be alone, mourning the life she never had inside of her. And the love she would never have again and had destroyed in a single moment.

There was movement at her door and she stood up, assuming it was Cameron.

She was wrong.

"Hello, lover."


	8. She Hungers Like a Killer's Wife

**A/N**: So I wrote the last chapter which is to come after this one. So after this one, that will be officially it this time. There were only supposed to be liked five to begin with yet here we are. Anyway, this is almost a filler chapter for awesomeness that is about to come. But there's still some good stuff in here too.

**Summary**: She had forgotten what sway the devil used to tempt her to his side. He was enticing and he was beautiful and she wanted to consummate in the darkness with him.

**Disclaimer**: Characters are not mine but the cliche plot is.

* * *

If she had to count the number of times he called her by the name he had lovingly bestowed upon her, she was sure it would be an impossibility. What she did remember was the first time he ever said it.

_Well hello to you too, lover._

His voice was snide and condescending and she hated looking at him without seeing anything there. But it was inside that limo again with gifts brought from all over Europe spilled onto the floor as he asked her to be his girlfriend in what she could only guess as timidness did he say it again.

For real this time. It was real when they surged together again and for what felt like the final time. The final time because they would never leave each other again.

How wrong she had been.

He would nuzzle the hollow beneath her ear and whisper it to her and no one had ever spoken to her like that and she was sure that no one ever would.

So there was her legal husband standing in the door telling something she had known all along.

"Hello, lover."

Because despite the miles between them, she never stopped being his.

She had never stopped being his lover.

Blair turned fractionally and saw him in her doorway, leaning the side of his head playfully against the door, looking at her with complete adoration.

"Forgive me if I thought our last encounter would have been our final one," she spat, hoping her venom was just enough. He took a step forward and she knew instantly that it just wasn't.

"I don't know why I was really that surprised," he said, ignoring her comment. "I don't know why I didn't spot it to begin with. After all, it wouldn't have been the first time you've lied to me and you do tend to do that when you're backed in to a corner."

Blair was sure that her ability to breathe had suddenly been forgotten as he looked at her.

"'I won't be there,'" he mocked. "Please. I should have known you would end up on that roof with me."

Blair shied away from the night where he proposed, even though he knew her ring laid against her breastbone.

"I'm going to kill that traitor," she seethed instead.

There really was no purpose of denying it. He knew it and she knew he knew it. And he knew there was only one way this could end.

"I would much rather you focus those passionate energies of yours on something more... productive," he drawled.

She wished she had locked that door. She knew walking towards him to make him leave would just amuse him. Backing away would encourage him. But just standing here was not making him go away. Because he was walking towards her and she knew there was absolutely no way out.

"Chuck," she whispered, her feeble attempt to deter him. He slid his hand under her hair, pulling her gently towards him by the back of her neck.

He looked at her lips intently and she wondered why Chuck Bass was rumored to have such a hard mask. He seemed pretty easy to read right now.

"Do you still wear my ring under your clothing like the desperate temptress you are?" he taunted in his husky voice, letting his scotch permeated breath brush against her ear.

"How dare you?" Blair finally found it in herself to be strong, pushing him away. "This is my house."

"Tsk, tsk, Waldorf," Chuck said, steadying himself against the dresser. He wasn't quite stable at the moment. "We both know that this is Cameron's house. And it's not like you're staying here for very much longer anyway."

"Excuse me?" Blair sneered.

"Come on," Chuck rolled his eyes with impatience. "You're seriously not staying here with him after everything."

"I _lied_ to you, Chuck," Blair said. "What the hell are you doing, staying here? What are you doing here with _me_?"

"You are my _wife_," Chuck hissed, sobriety finally leaking into his words. "I am taking you home and you are going to stay there like you should have. I would be a hypocrite if I begrudged you lying to me just to keep me at arm's length."

"As charming as your possession of me is," Blair said, "lest you forget that I'm engaged."

"And lest you forget that there is no way you are getting that divorce," Chuck said. "I thought we were past this. Your lawyer is in my back pocket."

"There are other lawyers," she said. "Ones that don't allow themselves to be swayed by bribery."

"Money talks, my love," he said and Blair looked away determinedly. "And my money makes lawyers as easy as you when I give you a diamond."

"You're despicable."

"You should have reminded yourself of that simple fact before you promised yourself to me," Chuck reminded her. "You know what I am. You know because we're the same, if I must tell you again. And we've made an oath."

"I never knew you were so traditional," she said venomously.

"Yes you did," Chuck answered. "You knew that if there was one thing that I respect, it is the sanctity of marriage. And the sanctity of the backseat of the limo. Your precious Cameron knows, dearest. And there is no point in you staying here."

"You mean besides to spite you?" she smiled prettily.

"Precisely," Chuck grinned. "And if you think _you're _stubborn, you must have forgotten about meeting me."

"I remember," she said. "Why did you think I ran?"

"Because we run from our feelings," Chuck sighed, making his way towards her again. "It's what we do. Do you know what else we do?"

She knew this question was completely rhetorical because he pulled at her tense hands and she collapsed into his arms.

"I missed you, darling," he uttered in her ear.

"Cameron may not want me anymore," Blair said back, "but that doesn't mean I'm going to settle for you."

She knew the exact words to make him furious.

"Settle."

In two simple syllables, she heard fury unlike anything other than Chuck bass could produce.

"This Western air is really getting to your head," Chuck said with his distant coldness. "You troll around, telling another man you love him when my diamond his pressed against your chest."

"What ring?"

He looked at her indifferent coldness and lost it.

Chuck's hands went to the front of her blouse and without any preamble, ripped it. Buttons flew off her top as he tore the collar of her shirt open. He put his hand to her chest to see that no chain adorned it.

"You think this changes a god damned thing?" he asked. Blair would have answered, too, if he hadn't pressed his mouth furiously to hers. Her naked stomach heaved against his belt buckle and she hated the want that she moaned into his mouth.

The want that she had been missing for four years.

"That's my girl," he said with evil distinction into her ear and it turned her on.

She had forgotten what sway the devil used to tempt her to his side. He was enticing and he was beautiful and she wanted to consummate in the darkness with him.

If only they had gotten that far.

There was an awkward cough behind them and Blair whirled around to see Cameron in the wide open doorway.

And he wasn't alone.

"Serena?" Blair asked.

Now she was mad.

"You bastard."

Ironically enough, it wasn't directed at Chuck.

"How could you do this to me?" Blair demanded Cameron. "I knew this betrayal had Serena's _Chanel _all over it."

"Blair," Serena said desperately. It was the first time she had seen her best friend in four years and she was wearing a tattered blouse.

And she hated her.

Once again.

"Chuck," Serena said, hoping for Chuck to intercede. Chuck just shrugged, leaning against the dresser. "We told you to wait."

"I just found out that my beautiful wife didn't abort my son," Chuck said. "I didn't feel like stalling our reunion much."

"There isn't going to be a reunion," Blair said. "We're done."

"The manner in which your blouse has been resorted to begs to differ," Chuck pointed out smugly.

"That was you," Blair said. "Not me."

"Oh, so that was someone else's tongue down my throat not two minutes ago?" Chuck asked nonchalantly. "But it tasted so familiar."

Without another word, Blair stormed forward, grabbing Serena by the arm and pulling her away from the men.

"Make sure you find that ring, sweetness," he called after her. "It has sentimental value."

* * *

_It was the most low rent and disgusting thing she could do besides resorting herself to prostitution. But there was no way she was going to get that desperate. As much as she would love to tell her relentless husband that she would rather join the girls behind the windows of Amsterdam's Red Light District than ever come back to him, she knew different. So did he. And she would probably return to him even before that became an option._

_She hated to think that. She hated thinking that miles away he still had such influence over her. But this was what Chuck Bass did to her. He resorted her to this. He made her walk into pawn shops to hock her mother's designs._

_"Are you aware of how much this costs?" asked the girl at the desk. She wasn't sure that the guys on Pawn Stars would really know what a Waldorf Original looked like._

_"I should," Blair answered. "I'm the designer's daughter."_

_"You're Eleanor Waldorf's daughter?" the girl asked excitedly._

_In retrospect, Blair realized, it probably wouldn't have taken long for Chuck to find her. She didn't do "low profile" well._

_"Why are you pawning anything?" she asked with interest._

_"It was a desperate measure," Blair conceded. "But not as desperate as conceding."_

_Of course the girl had no idea what she was talking about but before she could ask, her supervisor had come, reprimanding her for halting a sale. Never make a customer doubt herself when she's about to sell._

_"Will that be all, miss?" he asked. He was looking at her throat. "Or is there anything else?"_

_Blair put her hand to the neck that Chuck worshiped where her ring lay at the base._

_"No," she said without hesitation, not liking the ill feeling at the thought of ever selling it._

_"It has sentimental value."_

_The supervisor just shrugged and handed over the cash._

_Blair wished the answer to her problems weren't staring at her blatantly in the face._

* * *

Blair Waldorf hated conceding. It was the weakest thing a person could do.

_So the bet is still on._

_Unless you're prepared to concede..._

_To you? Never._

What she hadn't wagered on that night was Chuck sauntering up to her and demanding his right for a dance. Like he was entitled to it.

Smug bastard.

And yet, here she was. Standing outside of his door.

At least she knew that he was alone in there.

Unless he had picked up another girl and which she would beat the living hell out of the slut.

He would call such displays hot.

Smug bastard.

Blair put her hand to her throat again, feeling for the chain. She picked up the ring, reading her inscription.

She slid it from around her neck, sliding the ring back to its rightful place.

At least if she was conceding, his smugness would only last until the make-up sex kicked in.

And that was always worth it.

With her newly adorned left hand, she knocked with the inscription pressing against her fourth finger.

_Inevitable_.


	9. Miles, Miles Away

**A/N**: Last chapter. I really hope its up to expectations. I'm not so sure. The last flashback is something that I wrote with the original fic and it goes back to the wedding night so I hope its good. Probably the shortest chapter but I hope its a good one. So I edited it and I really like the ending and I hope you do too.

**Summary**: Sometimes she just couldn't understand him. She was laying completely bare before him and he was acting like he was still excited about seducing her for the first time. Like she excited him as much as she had the first time.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. And not all italics are flahbacks (hint, the first few lines.) Some of them are flashfowards (hint, only the first few lines.) Chapter names come from the lyrics "Miles Away" by they Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

* * *

_Hands were everywhere. Lips scalded. Clothing ripped. She was touching him again in a way that she had not allowed herself for four years on the simple principle of fear. But things were different now. Because she wasn't a child anymore._

_And because he loved her._

_Now and forever._

_He promised._

The knock on his door was premature in his opinion. It could be that Cameron had come to berate him in his drunken attempt to seduce the man's fiancé. But really, it was something he was entitled to.

Now and forever.

He opened the door, expecting a punch in the face, because it sure as hell wouldn't have been the first time he was punched in the face by one of Blair's beaus after finding them in a bedroom together.

Imagine his surprise.

There she stood in his doorway as he wrenched it open.

_Surprise, surprise, Bass._

And he knew he would have her again.

"Waldorf," he tried to say steadily, knowing she could smell his scent of scotch. And as though a beacon alerted him, his eyes were immediately attracted to what was glinting at him on her left hand.

And it wasn't an engagement ring.

"I don't want to talk about it," she told him.

"Talk about what?"

And she kissed him.

Like a wife should kiss her husband.

* * *

He took a seat beside her and Serena couldn't believe her eyes.

"Hi," she said awkwardly to Cameron.

"Hey," he responded. Serena took a sip of her Cosmo and hazarded a glance towards to pensive man at her side. "How much of an idiot am I?"

"Excuse me?" Serena asked in surprise. The only people that were ever so blunt with her were Chuck and Blair.

"I knew," he responded. "I mean, she didn't tell me explicitly or anything, but I knew there was something else. Someone else, to be precise."

"To be fair," Serena cleared her throat, "no one really saw Chuck and Blair coming. Not even their closest friends. Things just... happened. And here we are seven years later."

"What happened?"

"Why do you want to know?" Serena asked sharply. "You've obviously forgiven her and thinking about Chuck is only going to make things-"

"She left me."

Serena stared for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not," he laughed. "You obviously want them to work out."

"No," Serena said. "I meant, yes, I do. They're my best friends. My brother and my best friend. But I meant I'm sorry that you had to go through this. None of them deserved it. But Chuck and Blair just needed to go through some things."

"None of _them_?" Cameron asked tentatively.

"Any person that tried to come in between the two of them," Serena answered. "Even Blair's original boyfriend. He's Chuck's best friend and she dumped him at Prom. Everyone just has to eventually come to the realization that they deserve each other. They're meant to be. Even they have to realize that."

"They're together right now," Cameron murmured.

"Well, you don't _know_-"

"I would have given her to him," Cameron said. "He didn't have to be all..."

"Antagonistic?" Serena laughed. "Yeah, well that's just Chuck. When he feels like his territory is being threatened he just can't help but plot and destroy. Even if it ends up failing most of the time. Especially when it comes to Blair."

"You know them really well," Cameron commented.

"I've known them my entire life," Serena said.

"She didn't seem to pleased when she saw you," Cameron said.

"When I was 16 I ran away," Serena said. "And when I came back she ostracized me."

"What?" Cameron asked in surprise.

"That's just Blair, though," Serena laughed. "And I love her. Though granted, I was a really horrible friend then."

From Cameron's smile she could tell that he was interested. He was from the OC, after all.

"And now?" he pressed.

"Now," Serena sighed. "She _was _mad. But I guess it's in the same way she's mad at Chuck."

She looked at Cameron's questioning look.

"Deep down she really misses him," Serena said. "Maybe she sort of resents him for not coming sooner."

"Maybe he was afraid she would run again."

"And Blair understands that even though she pretends she's going to reject him."

"Going?" Cameron asked. "So they are together now."

"All I can say is that I would really not suggest going to his room right now," Serena laughed.

It was infectious. And a little startling.

"You two must have had quite the talk," Cameron said. "She just seemed so angry."

"She's my best friend," Serena smiled. "And in the end, we just miss each other. She was mad that I came without telling her. But in the end, we both know what's going to happen?"

"What's going to happen?" Cameron asked.

"I'm sorry," Serena whispered.

"I just want her to happy," Cameron said. "What's going to happen?"

"He makes her happy," Serena said. "He makes her... complete. Always did, always will."

"You know I only proposed to her to make her feel safe," Cameron admitted. "I cared about her. I just wanted her to be okay. But I guess I didn't-"

"Love her?" Serena supplied.

"I did," Cameron said. "But I guess I just didn't love her like that. The way she was used to being loved. By him."

"They got married when they were very young," Serena said. "And she just got scared. I know you didn't deserve it, but when it comes to them, they are very melodramatic."

"She's with him now," Cameron nodded.

"I'm sorry," Serena said, putting a comforting hand over his.

He looked up into her bright blue eyes.

She was very beautiful.

* * *

He wasn't sure if it was because he had been without her for four years or just that he would never be happier than when he was with her. But that was definitely the best it had ever been.

With anyone.

It was magnanimous and all encompassing.

It was... Blair.

He knew it was for her too without even asking. He could tell the way she screamed his name.

He could always tell.

He traced the freckles between her shoulder blades, laying a kiss on each one. He wrapped his hand over her right hip, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"You were amaz-"

"Tell me," she said suddenly, rolling to her side and cutting him off.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"The reason that I'm here ridiculously naked in this bed with you," she said. He leaned on his elbow, looking intently at her. She finally looked at him. "Tell me why I didn't call the police when you refused to heed the subpoena."

"Because it's always been us, Waldorf," he said with his brows furrowed, unsure of why she was even questioning it. "Because we are devastatingly and tragically in love with each other. And nothing can ever change that. It hasn't. Not after the worst thing I've done. The darkest thought I've ever had. Not for long at least."

She laid back on her pillows, gazing back at him. "I left him."

He smirked. "I know." He held her left hand, caressing her fourth finger. "You found it."

Blair rolled her eyes. "God, Bass, you've known me for this long. You should know that it was never lost."

"I know," he said smugly. He leaned in to kiss her again before she stopped him. "What?"

"I don't know," she said in a whisper. "I never set out to hurt anyone. For once."

"I know," he answered. "But tell me that he didn't see this coming."

"I don't know," Blair shrugged. "He seemed like he did. But people can be deceiving."

"Did you see this coming?"

He loved that deceptive smile of hers.

Suddenly it dropped.

"You spoke with my mother," Blair said in astonished realization. He pulled away in surprise. How did she do that? She just knew. She was so perfect.

"What?" He feigned ignorance.

"You did, didn't you?" she asked. "She told you to come looking for me."

"I was already looking for you," he corrected. "She just gave me an urgent nudge."

"Why?" Blair demanded, looking into his eyes. He blinked. "Tell me the truth."

"The minute we land she'll be planning our society wedding," Chuck relented with a comforted smile, laying back on the bed with her.

"What?" Blair demanded. Chuck shrugged.

"You said you saw this coming," he resigned. "And you know you want one."

"That is..." Blair sputtered. "Beside the point."

"Just don't _lose_ your ring this time," Chuck sneered.

Maybe she did love him.

But just a little bit.

"Ask me again."

"Meaning?" he asked, smirking slowly, knowing what she wanted.

"Ask me to marry you," Blair said. "Ask me to have a grand society with you that will make everyone jealous. Ask me to be your wife again."

"Blair," he said huskily, pushing her (_hot_) sex wraggled hair away from her face. "Will you be mine forever?"

She closed her eyes, kissing him deeply.

"Forever," she promised.

Forever.

_Blair felt him trace the back of her hand lazily. The blankets were still tangled around their ankles, her breathing still coming out harshly through her lungs. She finally let her eyes trail over to his face. He propped up his elbow, gazing at her fondly._

_"Chuck," she said as his eyes trailed sleazily over her. Sometimes she just couldn't understand him. She was laying completely bare before him and he was acting like he was still excited about seducing her for the first time. Like she excited him as much as she had the first time._

_"Yes, Mrs. Bass?" he drawled cockily._

_"Do you seriously want to marry me?" she asked. "For good?"_

_"A little late for cold feet," he murmured, tracing the fourth finger on her left hand._

_"I'm worried about _you _having second thoughts," she said. "Actually."_

_"Me?" he asked. "You're the one who almost didn't show up on that roof tonight."_

_She moved against him, laying her head against his ribs. "I'm tired of running."_

_"Good," he said with satisfaction._

_"I hope you know," Blair said quietly, "I only ran because I was afraid of how... real we are."_

_"Do tell," he said into her hair._

_"The realization that we are just..."_

_"Magnetic," Chuck said smugly._

_"Doesn't that scare you?" Blair asked._

_"It did," Chuck said. "If you remember, I ran to Bangkok. I ran to Germany, France... Anywhere I could think of to get away from you."_

_"Did it work?"_

_"What do you think?" Chuck asked. "I wrangled you into being my wife."_

_"I think maybe I sort of wanted you to be my husband."_

_"That's reassuring," Chuck commented. _

_"This ring is very nice," Blair said, examining it glimmer in the dim lights of the city._

_"I'm starting to suspect you only married me for my money," Chuck said._

_"Well we can't all just impulsively have sex on rooftops and barter with diamond rings our fathers happened to have in their safes."_

_"I bought it when I turned 18," Chuck stated. Blair sat up quickly. "What?"_

_"Why would you do that?"_

_"Because that was when I knew," Chuck shrugged._

_"How can you be so... blasé?" Blair asked._

_"Because it's only ever been you."_

_She stared at him for several moments before settling back at his side._

_"Okay," she said calmly._

_"Okay," he repeated._

_"Okay," she replied. "I still win."_

_"Do you?" he asked with a smirk that she didn't have to look at to know it was there._

_"I knew you were it way before that," Blair smiled into his skin._

_"Of course you did," he smiled, pulling her up next to him. "Only a few more minutes."_

_"Until what?"_

_"Until we're going at it again."_

_"Sometimes you can be so crude," Blair said, but laughed._

_"Just the way you like it."_

_He knew her so well._


End file.
